Have A Little Faith
by VikingsDoItBetter
Summary: Searching for something you didn't know you needed
1. Chapter 1

Title: Have a Little Faith

Summary: Searching for something you didn't know you needed

Author: VikingsDoItBetter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of The Walking Dead. The only one I own is mine…I'm just playing with the others for a little while. ;)

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><p><em>Rick POV<em>

Looting towns is never easy. Always have to be on the look out and you always need someone to watch your back. I decided that it would be too dangerous to send large groups into surrounding towns, so Shane and I would be the ones to look for anything of use.

Clothes…food…ammo…weapons…any little thing to get by.

We only have a few hours before dark. Shane and I have been through most everything here. We've taken all we can back to our truck, but these last few blocks have been strange. After a few laps we stop in front of a boarded up house and I stare at the windows.

"What," Shane barks, "I hate that look on your face. It means your thinkin'."

"These houses. They're all open….and mostly emptied."

"Yeah. They all probably grabbed their shit and left. If they were like the rest of us."

"Except this one here," I point to the upstairs windows, "see, they're all boarded up." I walk onto the porch and check the door, "And the door is locked."

"So? Maybe they didn't want walkers oozing all over their stuff."

"Right? You lock your place up?"

He just stares in silent answer, "Rick. Don't"

"Someone is living here. We can't just leave until we know."

"Bullshit we can't…..come on. It's getting dark."

I ignore him and pound on the door, "Hello….anyone in there…..we're just here to help…."

Nothing. I place my ear against the door….nothing.

"You satisfied?"

I hold my hand up to quiet him, "My name is Rick….there's no reason to hold up in there….we've been through this entire town; there's no one else here."

"I know that's what I like about it," Shane and I both turn to see a small girl pointing a gun at us. She's got light brown hair and pale blue eyes. She's wearing a pair of jeans, a black tee shirt with a pair of pink and black Nikes. She looks so thin; couldn't weigh more than 100 pounds. It breaks my heart to think of how long she's gone without a decent meal, "Rick huh….who's he?"

"Shane."

"Fucking dandy. Now, you two want to get the hell off my porch and leave me alone?"

"We just want…"

"Don't give a fuck. Whatever it is…I don't have it. I don't want it. And I sure as hell don't need anything."

"Hear that Rick. She says she's good out here alone."

"I don't believe that."

She comes up the stairs to her porch and puts the muzzle under my chin, "What makes you think I won't kill the both of you right now, huh? For all you know I've killed everyone that's come here."

"Come on now pumpkin," Shane laughs, "You aren't shooting anyone with those shaky ass hands."

"Plus the safety's on."

She slumps her shoulders and sighs, "I knew that….Mom says I'm not supposed to let strange people in the house."

"Your Mom home?"

"She went out."

Shane leans against the post of the porch, "When was that?"

"Four months ago."

The silence between the three of us weighs the reality of it. Poor kid; I couldn't imagine Carl out here all alone.

"We can't just leave you here."

Shane shoots me a look that clearly says yes we can.

"I can't leave you here alone….I'm sorry…I never asked your name."

"Faith. My name is Faith…ironic huh."

"It's nice to meet you." It's never too late to be well mannered.

She looks around, "What's in it for me? If I come with you two….."

"There are more of us. We've got food, shelter….I've got a son about your age. I'm sure you could use someone to talk to."

"How old?"

"Eight."

"I'm twelve you ass."

Shane laughs at her, "You don't look more than nine."

"Hey fucker! Who's holding the gun?"

He picks up his shotgun which he laid on the porch swing, "Looks like mine's bigger. Don't be a stupid brat right now….you comin' or not?"

She looks nervously between the both of us. I silently plead for her to come with us.

She sighs, "It's not because I'm lonely…but I'm running out of food," she digs a key out of her jeans pocket, "Can I get some of my stuff first?"

"Nope. No time," Shane gives me a serious look.

"Ten minutes. Then we have to go, alright?"

"Right…getting dark," she unlocks the door, "Didn't want those things stumbling into my house. Come on in."

Shane follows in behind me. Faith shuts and locks the door, "My room's upstairs….take anything you need. You were going to anyway."

"You got that right," Shane mutters and slowly walks through the next room.

I follow behind her up the stair case. It seems so strange to see all the pictures still hanging on the wall. Like life never stopped here….like she felt safe. I suddenly feel a pang of guilt asking her to leave the only place she's ever known.

She's already pack away clothes when I prop myself in her doorway, "You have a last name?"

"Jones. You?"

"Grimes."

She laughs as she shoves books into her backpack, "That's a terrible name….and some poor kid has it….what kind of a name is that?"

"What kind of a name is Jones?"

"Ordinary," she opens another bag. She fills this one her blanket and pillow. She takes a final look around her room and nods. I take her bags and start down the stairs, "Faith?"

"Sorry….it's just….I," she looks around and blinks herself back to reality. She takes something off her wall and nods, "Let's go. Before I change my mind."

Shane is standing at the bottom of the staircase, "She had a nice stockpile of ammo. Several clips…shells….even a box of ammo for your python."

She shrugs, "What can I say? I'm a packrat."

Shane slowly opens the door and looks out, "We're still clear. But it's a long walk back to the truck loaded with a girl and all her shit."

"Fuck you asshole!" These two are going to be fun to mediate I can already tell.

"Shane is right…its a few miles back….you up for that?"

She looks around, "What no horse?"

"I had one."

"I'm not surprised," she laughs, "Walking is for pussies anyway. I've got a car. With gas. I'll just follow you."

"No," Shane and I both at least are on the same page.

"What the fuck is with you two…..you the cops or some shit?"

We exchange a look, "We were. Both of us. Before." A little honestly never hurt anything.

She shakes her head, "Well….you look like cops."

Shane keeps his head on a swivel, "This is all very entertaining but we'd better think fast."

She crosses her arms, "I am not riding in the backseat of my own car."

"Fine. Shane…go back to the truck and wait. I'll drive her and her things in this car. Got it?"

Shane nods, "Give me five minutes tops. Then go on."

I nod in agreement. He takes off running back towards the truck.

Faith and I stand on the porch of her home. She hesitates at the door.

"Close it and say good bye sweetheart. Come on."

She laughs, "I'm nobody's sweetheart. You got that?"

"Sure….you going to lock it?"

"What's the point….besides…I have the keys to the car on this ring."

"How practical. Where is it?"

"This way."

I follow behind her to the next house. She points to the garage, "I left it open a little bit so only I could fit under it. Pretty sweet of them to leave it for me….just give me a second."

As she quietly wiggles under the door, I scan the streets. In the distance I can hear a walker. Can't see it just yet….you need to hurry Faith.

The door slowly opens and she smiles next to the Camero in the garage, "its tank is full right now….plus I stashed some extra gas in the back floor boards. I'm driving!"

"No you are not and that is not up for debate."

She looks up at the ceiling and whines, "Oh come on…it's mine."

I open up the car and put her things in the back, "Faith. No time. Now."

"Yes, Dad," she sits down in a huff. I give her a stern look and she fastens her seat belt.

I fasten mine and start the engine. I slowly back out of the drive; I notice her staring back as I put the car in drive, "Don't. It'll just make it harder. Look ahead. That's all we've got."

She sniffles and shakes her head, "I've been here my whole life. And now…."

"Life's different," I pull off her street and make my way as quickly as possible through town. I can see walkers filling some of the side streets…..just in time.

As we get to the edge of town, I see Shane in the truck. As soon as we're a car length close he pulls out ahead of us, we both turn on headlights and we hit the gas. No sense in waiting around for what's still in this town.

Faith sits mostly quiet. She hums a song I don't recognize right away.

"You like music?"

"I like to sing. Don't know if I'm good or anything. So I keep it to myself. Plus my Mom hates…..hated a lot of noise. She worked at night."

"How about your Dad? You know where he is?"

"Why? Do you?"

"I didn't….I'm sorry."

"What for…you just asked a fucking question. Tell you what Officer…you find him; you let me know."

"That's a deal."

I start thinking about how to introduce her to everyone, especially Lori. I know this kid seems tough, but I can see it in her. She's had a rough life….no one has ever done a lot for her…

"Hello Rick?"

"Sorry….what were you saying?"

"I asked about your kid?"

"Right. Carl…he's eight. And my wife, Lori."

"Wife huh….bet she's boring as shit. What….don't look at me like that! You're an average kind of dude, Rick. She can't be that special."

"You're wrong. She's my everything….when I thought I'd lost her; lost them. I thought my world has ended for sure. Then….I went through hell and got to find them. Just the second I got to hold her and Carl. Made everything worth it."

She raises an eyebrow, "Cool story bro, needs more dragons."

"How can you be so…"

"Cynical…you can use big words. I'm not retarded."

"Okay then, cynical."

"How could you not be? The whole world ended and some of us didn't get to have something normal to hold on to. To be fair, I was alone before this mess….I was alone after. Maybe I just had nothing to lose."

"You lost your mother."

"She didn't raise me. I mostly raised myself. She was just there to ask the cops what I stole or who I beat up this time. She signed papers and made sure I did what I was supposed to so I didn't go to juvie. Then she would beat me fucking senseless. And that was when she wasn't high."

I swallow hard. I find these situations so difficult to identify with. Back home it was hard to find kids like her.

"Lemme guess Rick. Your parents were married to each other their whole lives. You and…what's her tits…"

"Lori."

"Right. Lori….high school sweethearts. You decided to be a cop and the home town fucking hero. And she stayed home, played the dutiful housewife and took care of that kid. The American fucking dream. Not everyone lived like that okay? So don't look at me like I'm so unfortunate. I'm alive…. just had to grow up sooner than most kids. Jesus, you are a sappy motherfucker."

I shake my head and begin to slow down as we approach the turn off.

"So, how were you thinking you tell the wife about me?"

"You have any thoughts?"

"How about….she followed us home, can we keep her? Like a puppy only way fucking cooler!"

I smile in spite of the ridiculousness of it, "We could try that."

We slowly drive back to our little camp. I pull behind Shane and we both shut the engines off at the same time. Shane hops out first and looks around. He signals that it's clear.

Faith opens her door and looks around. I grab her bags and sling them on my back. She gives me a dirty look when I walk away from the car. So, I press the remote to lock it.

She smiles, "That's better."

I walk in step with her and can feel her nervousness. I try to put my arm around her but she jerks away.

"Hey….getting all friendly. Not my thing."

I note the behavior for reference but nothing more, "All right."

She stops short of the camp, almost gasping for air.

"Don't worry Faith; they're going to love you."

She twists her face in a strange look, "Love me? Rick…no one has loved me. Why should anyone start now?"


	2. First Impression

_Rick POV_

That was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard in my life. I can't imagine any child knowing or even thinking that. I can't find the words that would even begin to fill the emptiness.

"Wow," she laughs, "speechless. Finally."

"Not really. It's just that sometimes….even words just fall short."

"Oh shit. You're not going to try and hug me are you? 'Cause I'll punch you in the face if you try."

"Fair enough," I resettle her bags on my back, "ready?"

"As I'm going to be."

Now I wish I had given this more thought. I hope Lori can understand why and we can figure out the how.

Walking up to see everyone's faces dimly lit by the campfire is so good. It does however remind me of who we've lost; Jim, Amy, Jaqui…..Sophia. I shake off the ghosts of the pasts; I give a nod to Shane who's restocking our supplies.

Carl runs to me and I wrap him in my arms. To think that I would never hold him again….hear his voice….too painful to speak of. And Lori….just the thought of her hand in mine kept a fire burning in me that wouldn't allow me to stop until I had them both in my arms.

Since that day, I swore to myself that I would never hold back how I really feel about them. Life is too short.

Lori quietly strides to us and joins the embrace. It's like time stops and I memorize every detail.

"Please somebody take a fucking picture," she knows how to make everything real again.

Lori looks at the small girl behind me, "Rick…who is this?"

"Hey lady, I can talk. My name is Faith. Oh….I bet you're Lori and this little freak is Carl. Pleased to meet you."

"I'm not a freak," I put Carl down and he walks over to Faith, "you're not being very polite."

"Sorry…I guess."

"Its okay. Lots of people get upset and forget their manners. You said your name is Faith right?"

"Been that since I can remember."

"Come on. I'll introduce you to everybody."

She sighs and follows Carl toward the circle around the fire.

Lori gives me a look.

"What?"

"Rick, are you crazy?"

"Maybe a little."

"Who is she?"

"Don't know. All I know is her name is Faith Jones. Shane and I found her when we were looting the town. She was staying in a house, all alone."

Her face says it all, "where were her parents?"

"She's never known her father and her mother….gone. But from what I gather, she didn't have much of a relationship with her."

She gives Faith a long, sad look over her shoulder, "That's terrible, but what are we supposed to do with her? I'm guessing with those bags means she's staying here right?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"I suppose a little girl out there all alone is no way to live. Who's she staying with?"

"Us."

She laughs, "Rick….I don't think…"

"Lori, don't be hard on her. She's had a rough life before the world all fell apart. She needs us; someone to keep her in check. We can do that."

"Sounds like you're not asking, like you've already made up your mind."

"I have."

She sighs, "We'll we can't just leave her with Andrea. That would make things worse. I know I said I always wanted a girl but this is what I really had in mind."

I kiss her on the forehead, "Thank you…for understanding."

"I understand; doesn't mean I like it."

"She'll grow on you."

I hoped she'd grow on everyone. We walk toward the group; each one is eating or making an introduction to Faith.

She's slumped in a chair. I can see the weight she carries with her. It's written on her face.

"You met everybody," I put her bags down beside her and sit across from her.

"Yep. Regular people…hiding from walkers…pretending life is normal."

"That's us," Shane sits himself down on the far end of the group, "listen…sorry if I was hard on ya out there. I was…"

"Forget it. You have to; continue being a dick."

At least everyone laughed.

"You've got a way with colorful language," Dale always says things so politely.

"Well, it's served me well enough," she rubs her arms.

Lori brings her a plate, "Faith, why don't you eat and Rick can show you where you're staying," she sits beside me and pulls herself close in.

Faith warily takes it, "um…thanks," she pushes the food around her plate, almost likes she doesn't know what to do.

"It's all right…you can eat. We have more," Lori gently encourages.

She at least takes it as face. It's almost hard to watch her devour dinner. I want to ask how long its been since she's eaten but I wouldn't ask it in front of everyone else.

I wouldn't dare embarrass her.

She finishes in record time and stretches as she sits the plate at her feet. She shivers and rubs her arms.

"You ready to stow your things?"

"Sure," she jumps up before I can and tries to grab her bags.

She gets one and then rolls her eyes as I take the heavier bag, "You don't always need to be afraid to accept help."

"Whatever," she follows behind me.

It's a short walk to our tent at least. She follows me in. I place the bag I'm carrying by Carl's bed, "You can sleep here by Carl. We'll hunt down a cot for you tomorrow when it's light again, all right?"

"I'm not even close to tired," I waited for the yawn as she put the second bag down, "just let me dig out a hoodie then I can go back to making nice with your people."

She pulls the first bag to her and I sit as she searches it, careful as to not let anything fall out. She curses as she has to pull more out than she apparently wanted. I note a lighter that rolls out.

She finally finds the shirt she was looking for; of course it's black with some awful writing on it. She slips it over her head then starts putting everything back in her bag. She looks around to make sure she's not missing anything.

I hand her the lighter. She mutters her thanks and puts in on top of the bag and closes it.

"Why do you have that?"

"Why do you think," she storms back out and shoves her hands in her pockets.

I take a few long strides and step in front of her, "What are you telling me?"

"I smoke; have for a couple of years. But I've been trying to conserve apparently the world ending was a great occasion to get cigarettes."

I don't even know how to approach this, "We've all got habits."

"Yeah…it's better than that hero complex you've got. I guess saving people is your habit," she steps around me.

"Never killed me yet."

She reaches her chair and sits, slinging her legs over one of the arms, "Good news Rick. I'll never live long enough to get cancer."

I take my seat beside Lori. I put my arm around her and she settles against me, "I just ask you be respectful about it."

"Sure, I can handle that."

Faith settles back I her seat and sighs. I know I'm not the only one that notices it. At least everyone is polite enough to not say anything to her.

Carol breaks the tense silence, "Where are you from, originally?"

"Not here, Wyoming."

Carl seems confused by the mention of it, "I don't think I've ever met anyone from Wyoming."

"Of course you haven't. It's Indian for nobody's from here."

"No it isn't!"

"Smarter than you look….my mom moved us here when I was two."

Dale pulls the statement looming ahead, "Your father was okay with that?"

She shifts against her chair, "He wasn't around. Ever."

"I couldn't imagine not having a say in where my child was. Let alone taking her to Georgia," Dale has some fury in that one.

"Well…Dale right? He wasn't a part of my life because he wasn't ever put on trail."

"For what?"

Her face washes away emotion, "When my mom was fifteen she went to this party. Some of the seniors invited her. She wasn't super popular so this was it for her. And of course with high school parties comes…officers?"

"Booze and plenty of it."

"Thanks Shane. She told me someone handed her a drink when she walked in then she can't remember anything."

Lori closes her eyes and swallows. She wraps her hands around my arm.

"She said next thing she knew she woke up, feeling weird. Realized she wasn't wearing anything, looked around, she was alone. She found her stuff by a bathroom…but she knew something bad went on."

"Did she go to the police," I can't help but hope she did. Poor thing.

"Sorta. My grandparents took her to a hospital…and they called the cops."

"And?"

"Any what? It was a small town; you know…boys will be boys type of thing. Nothing happened…well, except me. My grandpa was a minister. So even if she wanted to…."

Lori gives a sad smile, "So, you're…."

"Yep. I was born before she turned sixteen. She dropped out of school and got her GED. But college was no place for a screaming kid."

Andrea softly enters this one, "So why Georgia…Dalton of all places?"

"Small town remember? Everyone knew about it. It was hard for her to get work. And no one was shy about talking shit. My grandpa had to leave his church because of it. Is that some shit?"

"I could understand the need to get away from that, but this all the way across country? Y'all have people here," seems logical to me anyway.

"No but I sort of think that was the point. I like to believe she just pointed on a map and said that's it. She drove us here….and she worked hard to get what I needed, at least physically. She never took one dime from my grandparents."

"What did she do," Lori asks like she already knows the answer.

"Well, she had a couple of jobs for the first few years. Mostly office work and waiting tables….come on though Lori. She was a single mother with a GED. She was a stripper….and apparently a good one. She worked in lots of the clubs in Atlanta, featured a few times. She always said she could have gone to Vegas but that it would never happen because of me."

"What's a stripper?"

"Carl, my friend," I hope she has enough sense to leave well enough alone, "nothing like you've ever seen. And it's not for me to tell you. Ask your Dad...know what? Better yet, ask Shane."

"Now what makes you think I know anything about that," at least Shane's smiling, "Rick might have a notion."

"He's way too good to have a notion."

Lori punches my arm lightly, "He'd better be."

Faith yawns and resettles in her chair, "Enough of my sad life…I've got so many sad stories they could be epic poetry. Seriously…tell me something about all of you. Like I'm fucking interested."

Carl kicks at the ground, "Can I tell you about…my birthday…when I got my bb gun?"

"I still didn't like the idea," Lori adds.

"Sure, freak. I'd love to hear it."

Carl begins his story and it's hard not to think of life how it was. Our house and birthdays…every detail is explained. I can almost see it myself; like I was there.

Everyone is smiling, and laughing at all Carl's points. He's so involved in the story he's not watching the main person it was told for. She's fallen asleep in her chair.

She looks so peaceful for a few moments but she snaps her head up and looks around. She tries to focus on the story but her body's had enough.

"It was the coolest thing ever…until I shot the neighbor's cat, Grumpy."

"He did," Shane laughs, "Rick told me he hit that car right between the eyes. Didn't hurt it but I heard Lori was pissed."

"I thought it was funny. I always hated that cat," I did.

"I cannot believe you Rick," she rolls her eyes, "I had to hide that thing from the both of you."

"Fine. I'll admit that shooting the animal was misguided but we talked that over, didn't we son?"

"Yep. And I swore never to shoot that cat again."

"Just that cat," she laughed….like she used to. When things were right.

My eyes fall to Faith, who is clearly in a deep sleep. Her head is hanging off the seat of the chair; her legs are draped over one arm and hood pulled around her face.

An angel's face, for sure.

"For God's sake Rick, just put her to bed," Lori whispers, "You want to plus that just looks….uncomfortable to say the least."

"I'm not even close to sleepy," Carl proudly proclaims, "And she's way older than me."

"You don't even begin to know what she's been through. This might be the first time she's rested in days. She was all by herself out there. I bet she was really scared. What do you think," the boy still needs to learn respect for others.

"Yeah…A lot. I would be."

"She's not had a soul around for a long time. We need to help her. And I want you to help me keep an eye on her."

"Like…a brother?"

"Kind of like that."

He seems happy with it, although Lori looks less than thrilled. I finally pull myself upright and walk over to Faith. I almost hate myself for having to move her.

As I get my arms underneath her tiny frame, she draws a sharp breath. I can feel her heart pounding.

"It's all right," I whisper, "I've got you."

She struggles against me as I lift her, at first. She closes her hands around my neck and settles against my chest. She rubs her face into my shirt and sighs.

I walk as evenly as I can back to the tent. After I open the flap, I remember that she didn't pull her blankets out of her bag. I resolve to lay her down on our bed for now….I can move her later.

I've also forgotten how difficult this is; putting an already sleeping child in bed without waking them. She doesn't weigh hardly anything but she's taller than Carl and seems more asleep than he's ever been.

Given her reaction to just being touched unexpectedly….I'd hazard to think what she's like if startled awake.

I shift her weight to one side and quietly pull back the covers. I gently lay Faith down; legs first then back, and then head….I slip my head out from her grasp. She immediately rolls to her side.

I pull the covers around her and tuck in the edges. The nights are getting colder, that's for sure.

I watch for a few minutes to make sure she's still asleep. I can't help but look at her I this peaceful state and wonder how anyone could ever take this girl for granted. The suffering she's endured; the loneliness.

Although I give it a second thought, I kiss her on the forehead. She didn't flinch much. I push some stray strands of hair back into her hood, "I'm sorry….for…what made you this way. We can fix it. I swear."

I walk back towards the fire; Lori and Shane meet me halfway.

"I'm going to check the parameters with Daryl and T-Dog. Then I'm going to try and sleep for a few hours anyway."

"All right…. G'night then."

He takes off for the northern most edge of our camp.

"She still out," Lori lowers her voice.

"Yeah….I put her in our bed until we're ready to call it a night."

"Probably best. Ground's cold; wouldn't be good for her."

I look back at our tent, "I just feel so helpless with her."

"I'm not sure what I should say to her….I know she's more grown up than she looks but it's the how it happened that scares me."

I nod in agreement, "You know what she acts like….she doesn't like to be touched. You should have felt her heart pounding when I was picking her up. She was terrified, even in her sleep. She pushes everyone away from her…."

"I know. I just don't….I don't know if I can hear that. "

"No one does," I put my arm around her and we walk back to the fire and sit close together.

"Listen to that quiet," Lori leans against me, "remember what we would do when it got quiet…like after we would finally get Carl to sleep?"

I laugh, "I remember that. But this is a pretty public place."

"Not just _that_. I meant how many times we fell asleep on the couch just listening to the nothing. Or we would just talk about what we wanted out of life….it's all so different now I guess."

"Some of it. We've still got each other and Carl….we just never planned for Faith."

"How could anyone plan for this….all of it?"

"I suppose the answer is you have to take it one day at a time. Maybe even hour by hour."

"So…what's the plan for this hour?"

"I want to enjoy the quiet…for now."

I close my eyes and start to relax when both Lori and I jump at the sound of a terrified scream.


	3. A Heartbeat Drives You Mad

_Rick POV_

Now a days, a scream in the night could signal the worst.

Everyone comes out and toward the sound, looking for the source.

"That sounds like Faith," Lori says as we walk toward our tent.

I nod in agreement. All I can hear is Faith's voice, pleading into the darkness.

"_Stop….please….you're hurting me…."_

Shane quietly walks up beside me. We exchange a look; he hands his gun off to Lori.

I quietly pull back the flap; Shane goes first. We both look around and find nothing.

I'm relieved to see Faith isn't being attacked but seeing her writhe in her sleep makes me uneasy. What gives her nightmares terrifying enough to make her sweat?

Shane nudges me, "Guess we gotta wake her?"

"Yep. Probably not going to be easy and I don't know how she'll react. We gotta be easy."

"Whatever gets her quiet," Shane creeps over to her, "Faith….come on girl…it's just a dream….wake up…"

He gently shakes her. She pulls back from him but he takes hold of one arm, "Faith….wake up…you hearing me. It's a bad dream."

"Let go of me…you're hurting me."

Before Shane can get another word in, Faith's tiny fist connects with his nose which causes him to let go.

She sits up, startled, and looks around, "what…what's going on," she's breathless.

"You screamed…scared everyone," I try to look at Shane's nose, "you all right?"

"I think it's broken but I've had worse."

Lori come in, "Everything okay….my god Shane, what happened to your nose?"

I try to calm this situation. It's making Faith extremely nervous, "Nightmare….Shane tried to shake her. She was still out of it and she clocked him."

Lori shakes her head, "Well, she was going to do it sooner or later."

"She got me good," Shane gently tries to straighten the bones, "I'm going to try and take of care this…if you guys…"

"Thanks for having my back Shane….go on," he looks relieved that he can lick his wounds in private.

Faith has pulled herself into a corner of the cot. The blanket is around her shoulders; her hair is damp and sticking to her face. She looks far away and alert all at the same time.

Slowly Lori approaches her, "Faith….sweetie…it was just a dream. You're safe. Can I sit with you?"

Faith nods in agreement.

Lori sits beside her. She reaches out to hold Faith. Poor thing jumped at the movement, "It's all right. I'm not going to hurt you."

Faith closes her eyes; more tears roll down her cheeks.

God bless Lori; she stays with it, "Faith…your clothes are soaked. I bet if you change out of them you'll feel better…then maybe you can tell us what had you so upset."

I know a cue when I hear one. I step outside and give them some privacy. Lord knows what that girl has been through.

"Dad," Carl carefully approaches, "what's wrong with her?"

I walk over to meet him, "Nothin'. Bad dream that's all. Her and your mom are talking."

He seems to mull that sentence over, "That's good. Mom's great with that stuff."

"Yeah she is," I start thinking about Carl when he was close to five. He had at least one night a week with nightmares. He usually ended up sleeping in our bed.

Lori comes back out and walks to us, "She won't talk to me…she tried but she just started crying. She says she wants you."

I look over at Carl, "Looks like a long night pal."

He yawns and nods.

Lori steps between us, "You know what? I bet Shane wouldn't mind a sleep over….we could go ask him."

"Really! Can I Dad?"

"Sure….sounds like a good time."

He takes off in the direction of Shane's tent. Lori hangs back.

"How bad?"

Lori shakes off a chill, "Her clothes are soaked through. I'm going to have to wash them before I go to bed. I brushed her hair out and tied it back. I tried to get her tell me what she was so scared of but…"

"She clammed up."

She nods, "Yeah…and then she cries. She kept asking for you. Seeing her cry, it breaks my heart Rick. I can take it."

"You did your best," I rub my hands over her arms, "better go catch up with Carl…explain things to Shane."

She nods and walks off to arrange a quiet night for one of us.

I go back into the tent. Faith has curled up on my side of the cot. Her face still wet with tears.

I kneel beside the cot, "Faith, would it be all right if I sit?"

The covers rustle.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Slowly, I sit beside her. She pulls back as far from me as she can, like a wounded dog. To see anyone do that, let alone a child, is unbearable but her….heart-breaking.

"It's all right," I show my hands, "Lori said that you were asking for me?"

"I did," her voice is barely above a whisper.

"Is it so bad you couldn't tell Lori?"

She sits up and stares right at me, "She can't handle it."

"You think I can?"

She blinks and more tears fall, "I know you can explain things better than me. You've probably seen or heard some awful shit so…you know, you can sugar coat it."

Honestly I don't think I can sugar coat what she is going to tell me, "I'll do my best."

She nods and cautiously moves closer to me.

"You were talking. You kept saying stop, please, you're hurting me."

She nods.

"It was just a dream, Faith."

"There's the thing…this wasn't some nightmare. It really happened to me."

"Tell me," I hope I can have the strength for it.

"I have to warn you. This is going to require some set up….some stuff about me and my life. So don't say I didn't warn you."

"I've got all the time in the world."

"You know I'm not just an average kid right? I finished school when I was ten."

"Really?"

"My IQ is 159. My mom actually thought something was wrong with me and had me tested."

Explains alot.

"I guess my mom thought that since I was so smart that I could handle being along or not having her around."

"Bet that got lonely."

"No really. My mom had a new boyfriend like every couple of weeks from the time I was four."

"That seems like it would be hard to get used to. There wasn't anyone stable?"

"Not until I was six. His name was….Ben. He was always nice to my mom. First boyfriend she ever had that didn't do drugs or beat her. And he was super nice to me. He bought me presents for my birthday….and Christmas. Mom sometimes didn't remember holidays."

The smile on her face; she seems happy, "Did you like him?"

"I did. But I think my mom might have been in love with him. She even asked him to live with us…so he did. He wanted me to call him Dad."

"I'm betting you didn't."

"That's a no….it would have been weird. He was always giving me hugs…and asking to help with my homework like he was trying to be my dad."

I couldn't imagine helping a six year old high school student "Well, that's what parents do."

"I know. But…"

I can see her trying to form the words. Her body begins to shake. I pull the blanket around her. Her shoulders slump forward. I can hear the change in her breathing. The fear is overwhelming her right in front of me.

"But?"

"But he…he was…"

I put my arm around her. She jump and tries to pull away, "I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay…"

She looks at me and tries to fight tears, "I've hard that before."

She buries her head in my chest. She grabs onto my shirt and pulls herself as close to me as she can. Her body is consumed by her sobs of hopelessness. I can feel her tears soaking through my shirt. I stroke her hair and keep her close. The hardest part for me is the not knowing what I can do to help her.

"You need to tell me about what scares you….it's the only way you can never be afraid of it again is to voice it."

She swallows and sighs, "I had just turned seven. Ben had been living with us for six months. Mom completely trusted him with me alone in the house. All day and night."

I can feel her heart pounding. Her body begins to shake against me. Her body begins to shake against me. Her hands tighten their grip on me.

"On weekends my mom was working longer shifts. Better money…college rooming wasn't going to be cheap for a kid…anyway I had a ton of homework. I must have fallen asleep…I open my eyes and…he was tucking me in."

I try to keep calm. I try not to imagine what she is going to say.

"He kept telling me that I was a daughter that anyone could be proud of. And that I was a beautiful girl…and that I made him happy."

She stops suddenly. I can feel her begin to sweat again. She pulls her face against me. It's hard for me to see any child suffer; this is torture, "Please…keep going."

"You won't like it."

"I know…but you need to tell someone. And someone that can help you sort through it all."

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, "He….he kissed my face….my forehead…my cheeks…my lips. He said it was okay because he loved me. I tried to get away but he held me down; it hurt my arms. Then he….he put his hands on my leg…I didn't like it. He kept saying it was okay. I knew it wasn't. I begged him to stop. Told him I would hurt him….that I would tell."

I close my eyes and pull her close. How could anyone even think….or do that?

"He fucking laughed at me," she sobs between her words, "said my mom wanted him to love me. That's what he was doing, loving me…..he moved his hands closer….before he could…I punched him in the throat and ran to my bathroom and locked myself in. He pounded on that door forever…I was so scared."

"I bet. That was a brave thing and the right thing. How long did you stay in there?"

"Until my mom got home. She started yelling from outside the door. I told her what happened."

"And?"

Then strangest thing…Faith pulls herself into my lap and begins to cry. Something inside her just broke. All the walls she had put up were gone.

She tries to speak evenly, "she beat me…accused me of lying…called me a fucking brat. I had to lock myself in the bathroom every night for the next four months so I could feel safe."

"Why only four months?"

She sniffles and rests her head against my chest, "He was with me was with me at some lame ass festival at this park. He rubbed my arms and I screamed for him to stop, that I didn't like it. Lucky for me the cops in town were making several rounds. They checked it out…I told them about what was going on. They took him in for questioning….my mom was furious. Still believed him over me."

Thank God for someone observant, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know but," she shakes her head, "it makes me feel wrong….all wrong."

She begins sobbing again. I can't take anymore. Even tears form in my eyes. I wrap my arms around he rand hold her while she gets it out of her system, "I'm sorry…I would have changed it for you if I could. But you made it through."

She doesn't say anything just more tears.

"You're not wrong; nothing is wrong with you. You are a strong person and a beautiful girl. I know the world isn't the greatest right now…but it's a new place. All that you can put it in the past. You're not a victim, not by a long shot."

She turns her face completely against me, "just know this is what you get….this mess. A girl no on wanted."

I hold her even tighter, "that was their mistake. I don't claim to know why people do what they do. We want you here….Lori and I both…you are more than just your past, Faith. You are more than you could ever imagine."

She sobs without hesitation. Like no one had ever told her she was worth while. Now that I think about it, no one probably ever has.

I can feel her cries start to subside. I can feel her breathing even out and I look at her. She has found her way back to some sort of sleep.

I yawn myself. It's been a long day.

Lori comes inside. She looks at me and whispers, "She out?"

"Yeah," I quietly move to the edge to stand, "I was going to put her down on Carl's bed. I take it Shane understood?"

"Yeah, he usually does," I stand up and meet Lori in the middle. She pulls a few stray hair strands from Faith's face, "Hopefully she'll stay asleep."

Lori pulls back the blankets on Carl's bed. I have to say it's always easier with the extra set of hands. As I lay her down, Lori pulls the covers over her. It reminds me of all the times we've done this before.

The real trick is going to be getting out of her grasp. Softly I pry her hands from my shirt. I close her hands in mine and fold them to her. As soon as I let go, she reaches out for me and whimpers. She helplessly grabs at the air until I take her hands.

Lori looks at her, "She can't sleep like this. And neither can you. She needs someone…poor baby."

"Are you saying we put her with us? Is that going to be comfortable for you?"

"Don't worry about me…if we're really going to help this girl we have to whatever we can for her. This is all I know to do."

I pick up Faith, "It's a good thing she's so light."

"She looks like she weighs as much as Carl."

"Pretty close…a little longer body wise."

I gently sit down and scoot myself to my side of the cot. I lay Faith down with me. She pulls herself as close as she can to me. I stroke her back; hoping she can stay asleep.

Lori slips in behind her, pulls up the blanket, and rolls to face us, "You are so great with her. You're a good father, Rick."

She doesn't have to say that. I reach out and touch her face, "We're lucky to have found each other…twice. Most people don't even get once."

Suddenly Faith lets go of me and rolls to her other side. She lays against Lori. She holds Faith close to her and smiles.

"Looks like I'm not the only one."

She smiles, "Night Rick."

She closes her eyes and rests her head on top of Faith's head. I watch them in peaceful slumber. I pray to whatever's out there that more nights have this peace we have now.


End file.
